The Murphy Boys

Many, many of you have thanked me for being open and honest with my grief and grieving.  This post, for some reason, seems more personal.  More revealing.  But I am going to post it anyway and hope you won’t think less of me.  But if you do… that’s okay.  This is me. Ayrie- why are you leaving me?  It’s only been six weeks and I’m not ready.  In the past I have felt you there buoying me.  Not letting me fall too far.  Counter-balancing my negative thoughts.  Reminding me of…read more

“Change is the essence of life.  Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become.” -Unknown

I don’t know how or why I ever found this song by Mason  Jennings but Ayrie and Shiya and I listened to it a lot those last few months we lived in Chicago… the spring of 2009.  I always thought it was about a Black man being lynched to the mob leaving parting words to his son who was there watching.  The father tells his son to live a life of love and empowerment rather than hatred and fear. Iremembered the song as I was driving Shiya to school this…read more

I went to the workshop, “Healing on Purpose” and their perspective was that narrow spots (hard times) happen to us and our family, in our personal lives, in our health, living conditions, finances…  These narrow spots require attention and often grieving. They stated that grieving is a process of discovery.  A time for us to stop and reflect on the following questions: What is lost? What is left? What is possible?

I heard this poem for the first time last week and I have revisited and reread it many times…   What does this poem make you think of?  I think of my greater purpose in life.  And whether that is something I discover, choose or remember, I am not sure.  But it’s interesting and helpful to think about the thread that I want to hold on to throughout my life. THE WAY IT IS There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about…read more

Ayrie = Light.  The two words are synonymous in my mind these days.  Not light from a lamp but the purest kind of light… light from a fire for example.  I have heard about himalayan salt from Khewra Salt Mines in Pakistan and have friends who have sworn that they could feel the positive effects of the  negative ions present in Himalayan salt providing counterbalances to the positive ions resulting from electronic devices such as televisions and cell phones. So I thought, why not?  Even if I don’t feel the…read more

Life is What You Make It We’ve all heard this a thousand  times or more, right?  I think that I always agreed…  but I think that for the first time I am starting to understand. This morning Shiya and I were cuddling outside in the cool, bright, clear, November sunshine as Be scurried about the yard.  We were talking about the birds, the sounds of the trees and Ayrie.  I hugged Shiya so tightly and said, “We were so lucky to have Ayrie.  He taught us so many important and…read more

I came home to an amazing gift.  My friend Alexis and her mom had gone through all of the photos that we had posted online, printed out favorites and created a scrap book.  Unlike my scrapbooks which are just a collection of photos, this one told a story.  A story of a shining child, a beautiful relationship between brothers and a loving family. I was so touched.  The project had clearly taken many days.  I felt clear headed and able to talk on the phone so I dialed Lex’s number….read more

Many people have sent this poem to me and it rings more true to me every day. On Children by  Kahlil Gibran Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the…read more

I woke up at 5am this Saturday morning wishing with all of my heart that I was still asleep.  But sleep was clearly not going to happen.  My inner voice was telling me to write.  “Just get up and write, Nora.”  Many of you may not know (since you might know me through a blog) that I don’t actually enjoy writing.  I like to talk. I like to think.  I like to engage.  I like to imagine.  But I most definitely do not like to write.  So when I wake…read more