I think that the most important part was the feeling, not what actually happened.
You know the voice I hear? Â the one that tells me things? Â Like…Â Ayrie telling me he’ll be back. …Or the voice telling me to walk out to the dock on a cold night, lay on my back and look up at the night sky, making me see the infinite universe in a new way….Â Or the voice that makes me get up in the night to write even when I really, really don’t want to….Or the that showed me Buffy (click here) and told me that I could only see what I was meant to see…
So the other morning I was reading a book about good and evil or more accurately, Light and Darkness. Â The book said that there was balance in everything so that for all the Light in the world there was an equal amount of Darkness.
As I was walking to class I was thinking, “Really? Does that make sense to me?”
And I really just sort of tried to feel whether it made sense to me.
I thought “No, I really think there is much more light, beauty and joy in the world than darkness and suffering.”
“Do you really think that?” Â I asked myself. Â “I mean look around. Â EverythingÂ is grey, covered in roads, ugly buildings, waste…”
But then I looked at the trees and I thought “Look at those trees. Â They are symbol of what is good in the world. Â They are proof.”
And then I heard the voice. Â It said, “Go touch that tree.” And on a campus full of trees I know that the voice was talking about a specific tree, about a large, old oak tree that stood alone in the snow, across the street.
“No way!” I thought. Â “It’s below zero. Â I just want to get inside. Â Besides, that tree is buried in three feet of snow. I am going to get snow in my boots. Â And there are people everywhere. Â They are going to think I am crazy.”
“Go touch that tree,” said the voice again, kindly but firmly.
And like a petulant child I pouted and reluctantly walked over to the tree. Â It turned out that there was a little place for standing cleared out in front of the tree. Â “How odd” I thought. Â And I didn’t have the excuse of getting all snowy again so I stepped over the snow bank, into the cleared spot, and touched the tree.
It was warm.
I mean, this was one of those -5 degree morning and this tree was warm. Â I was so freaked out that I remember looking around. Â What was happening? Â How could this tree be warm on a sub-zero day? Â This had to be the energy of life, the Light that I am feeling.
I took a step back, freaked out. Â I noticed that below my hand were two hearts in the bark. Â Not hearts that were carved in, but hearts that were simply natural variations in the brown bark. Â One was about 10 inches across and the other was about six inches across.
“Whoa,” I was saying to myself out-loud. Â The moment felt so intimate. So important. Â “The world is full of goodness and I am not alone,” I thought.
And then I heard the voice again. Â It said, “You see, when you need answers to your questions, you will get them. Â Be patient. We are here supporting you and will make sure you have what you need when the time is right.”
It was a very profound moment and it left me shaking.