epiphany at the water park

Posted by in letters to the boys

The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change.  But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
~ William Stafford ~

I am seriously dense.  I mean, I get soooo many messages from my internal compass, from my spiritual guides, from family and friends, and yet I am still unable to solve the math problem!  When I read ‘The Way It Is’ the thread I think of my divine purpose.  My ‘work’ in this lifetime.  I’ve always felt clueless as to what it would be, or if I even had enough to give the world to make my work meaningful to anyone.  I wasn’t sure whether I was still holding on to my thread or whether I lost it a long time ago.

So here are some of the variables that are finally aligning for me. And yes, this hit me in a flash at the water park today.

X- I knew as soon as I started working with kids, at the age of 18, that I wanted to be a foster parent some day.  But somehow the time never seemed right.  I have started the application in more than one state but never followed through with it.

Y- I have been through a lot of crap.  More than many people my age born into a stable, loving middle class white family.  Some crap of my own making, other seemingly from no where, like I’m fulfilling a bad karmic debt.  (Or at least that’s what I used to think).

Z- Ayrie is a powerful healer, but works from the other side.  He chose me to work with and work through.

A- The healer I visited in NH, Marie, told me:

  • A1- My internal power comes from the divine mother
  • A2- My role in this life is ‘wounded healer’
  • A3- Ayrie thinks I am brilliant (blush) and that my intellect is an important ingredient
  • A4- My life is going to take a public turn where i will serve to be an inspiration.
  • A5- I am seriously protected, in this realm and in the spiritual realm.
X + Y + Z + (A1 +A2 + A3 + A4 + A5) = I will be a foster parent but it will turn into something more.  I will use my intellect, my understanding of what it means to lose a child, fight the health care system, make below a living wage, be a single mom, enter bad relationships, etc. combined with all the love and support of all the people who protect me to take foster care to a place beyond my current dreams. Will I Start a program?  Chance the system from within?  Influence policy?  Who knows!  I have a feeling that ‘it’ will find me and that I don’t have to go looking for it.
So stay tuned, I know I will!  I am holing tight to the thread and I finally see that all the good and bad I have experienced unfolding in a way that will let me fulfill my divine purpose.  I AM ON THE RIGHT PATH!!!!  I can’t tell you how elated I am.  This is the peace and positivity that was tickling at my brain this new year.   I am loved, I am blessed and I am living a life of purpose.  Wow.  I can’t believe it’s me that I’m writing about.  So thank YOU for helping me get to this place.  Much love, nora.