You are standing in my light. Always.

Posted by in letters to the boys

I wrote this on March 25th, 2011. I found it in my drafts folder, unpublished. I’m glad this message found its way to me again.


purple chakra cropped

Yesterday was bad.  Scary bad.  But as always, a lot of people came through for me right when I needed them to. Part of what’s been hard is that Ayrie used to come to me a lot and recently he’s been largely absent.  It’s like losing him again. I close my eyes and I don’t see him very often.  I was up most of last night, really wishing that he would give me a sign. What do I need to know? I kept asking him.

And then I had two experiences, late into the night, or maybe early into the morning.  Ayrie came and he showed me an image of myself in white.  I didn’t quite look like me because the shape wasn’t quite human, but some how I knew it was me.  And then there was a tear (rip) in me, right where my chest would be. I was so scared to see that tear that I tried to look away.  But he made me stay with him and from that tear poured Ayrie’s purple light. And it grew so big that I couldn’t see myself anymore. And he said, ‘I am bigger than you. You are standing in my light. Always.‘  And I felt extraordinarily comforted and renewed. It reminded me that I can’t always touch him, feel him, or sense his presence, but he’s here. He expects greatness from me.

He also showed me rings of purple light (his light) and white light (light of the divine spirit) radiating upward and outward. It was beautiful. There was a brilliant white light pulsating at the top of my head and Ayrie was there, leading me to the light. He was telling me that it’s time to have a closer relationship with the divine spirit.

When Ayrie gives me messages directly or through others, it always comes back to trusting in love, trusting in the mystery of the divine spirit.  So for what it’s worth, those are the kinds of experiences I am lucky enough to have once in a while.