I’m back

Posted by in letters to the boys


I am shocked that I haven’t written since 2012. Truly, and honestly, if someone had asked me how long it’s been since I have posted I would have said ‘six months, maybe nine at the most’. I suppose it’s no coincidence that I wrote a 480 page dissertation since my last entry on this website. Between writing my dissertation, defending it, editing it, and trying to get my business started, I haven’t found the time or the mental space to write and reflect. That’s not an excuse–I still could have made the time.

But I’m back.

Over the last few weeks I have received so many signs from the universe to start writing again. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned on this journey since Ayrie’s passing, it’s that I need to listen to these signs.

I am excited, and a little nervous. Before I was insulated from fear by my grief And that made me brave. Now I’ve found ways to grieve and operate somewhat covertly in the real world. I have earned my doctorate and started a business. What if someone I work with tweets one of these posts? What if one of my clients stumbles upon this blog and thinks I’m crazy? I suppose that’s just a risk I have to take. When the flow of life finds you and gives you directions, you have to listen and act with courage. Looking forward to seeing where this next chapter of loving, crying, discovering, growing and sharing with you takes me.