brain cells and balance

Posted by in letters to the boys

Forgive my audacity for saying this- but I’m smart. We all have a multitude of gifts and I think this is one of my strongest gifts- or at least the one that’s the most accessible to me. So I’ve followed that path… school, school and more school. I sit at my computer day and night (no really- I do this quite a bit) and I combines words and ideas. Sometimes I struggle, but sometimes I put together an idea that is simple and elegant.  I love those moments.

For example, I just turned in my written preliminary exams about complexity theory as a way to see the world, and the resulting implications for the field of evaluation (I’m getting my PhD in Evaluation studies). And it just hit me tonight when i was reading a Deepak Chopra book how similar complexity theory and some conceptualizations of spirituality are. Little did I know that my academic and my inner paths were converging in this way. WHAT?! How did I never see that before? How come I’ve never read someone else making that connection before? Simple. Elegant. Important.

But here’s the problem. I have other gifts too. The gift of intuition and the gift of physical stamina. I find such beauty and insight at the depths of my soul and at the top of a mountain. But i almost never use these gifts because I so totally and completely privilege my intellect. So when I wrote in my post yesterday that I reject fear? Fear of what will happen if I deviate from the obvious path? As I explored this idea further I also mean that I reject my fear of giving equal importance to mind and spirit. Because when I do, my life will shift in radical ways.