Okay, I confess.  I am deeper in this than I ever thought I would be and it’s amazing  Unbeknownst to most of my friends and family (who would think I’m crazy) I  have been doing energy work with someone in Tucson…he’s the partner of someone I knew more than 5 years ago and he’s amazing.  So I am not going to write much here because it’s confusing to me and I am once again at a loss for words.

But I told him how I sometimes have been seeing this intensely beautiful orb or purple/indigo light.  It’s so beautiful that I literally have tears of joy when I see it.  I guess it’s a feeling too.  It’s overwhelmingly joyful.   I saw it when I did the Integrated Energy Therapy and strangely enough, I saw it when the dentist was working on my mouth.  Not the assistants or hygenists, just the dentist.

So my friend was wondering if this was my third eye chakra so he asked me to concentrate on looking at my third eye.  I told him that all I could see was moving brown energy when I tried to look at my third eye.

He told me to picture a white rose taking away the brown and I couldn’t.  I find it nearly impossible to visualize something that isn’t really there.  Even in the middle of all of this energy work my mind’s rational thinking is there.

Since this approach wasn’t going to work he asked if he had my permission to clean up some of that brown energy from afar.   I have him my permission and then I sat still on the edge of my bed with my eyes closed.  All of the sudden I had these rapid eye movements… my eyes were going crazy!  And the purple started to mix in with the brown and slowly the purple became more intense and the brown disappeared until I was seeing a pure beautiful pulsing orb or purple again and crying tears of joy.

Next he asked me to look up at my crown chakra but I couldn’t.  It was like I could look into a tiny space where my third eye is but I can’t see up or down.  There’s a barrier, like a wall.  So he asked if he could go in once again and do some healing to remove the wall.  And once again, I had these rapid eye movements.  But this time my eyes were rapidly moving up and down… there was more organization to the movements.  And all of the sudden the wall was replaced by lavender.  And then the lavender started to swirl, like a hurricane image on the weather station.  And the lavender mixed with gold and it was iridescent.  It was beautiful but it didn’t make me feel as joyful as the purple light did at my third eye.

Since my crown chakra was apparently open we next tried to connect me to source (the universal consciousness and energy that connects us to each other and acts as a bridge between the realm of pure spirit and the physical world).  Again, I couldn’t do it  on my own because I had a lot of fear so he had to do energy work from afar.  My eyes didn’t move rapidly this time and he seemed to work for a while…eventually I saw a ring of orange around my head with white light above it.  This apparently is what source looks like to some people.  So he asked me to connect to source and to help me to receive what I need to know for my highest good.   I waited and all of the sudden I saw a fetus spinning around.  The purple light reappeared and the fetus disappeared into the purple light.  I was SO sad.  The fetus made me so instantly sad and I started to sob.

I asked my friend, what is going on?  Isn’t connecting to source supposed to make me feel elated?  I feel so very, very sad.  So went back to work and after a while I saw something that looked like a cat eye…or a galaxy… it was orange with flecks of red, yellow and green and when I saw it my sadness was gone.  I didn’t feel happy, but I felt peaceful.  It was crazy!!!

This all took about 2 hours.  We tried to connect me to source again but I couldn’t.  I was too emotionally and energetically exhausted.

More to come….