searching for words

Posted by in letters to the boys

A quote from “A Small, Good Thing” by Raymond Carver in Where I’m Calling From: New and Selected Stories.  The quote below is spoken from the point of view of a mother saying goodbye to her son’s body at the morgue.

“No, no,” she said. ” I can’t leave him here, no.” She heard herself say that and thought how unfair is was that the only words that came out were the sort of words used on TV shows where people were stunned by violent or sudden deaths.  She wanted her words to be her own….”

I love this quote because it’s the same conversation I’ve had with myself.  Why does everything I say sound trite and cliche?  And I having real feelings or subconsciously channeling a movie or a Hallmark card?