held in the light
tonight my facebook status was “held in the light. the notes, flowers, candles and impromptu fire-lit ceremony in our back yard have lifted my spirits and helped me get back on a path of gratitude and grace. thank you everyone!! xoxo nora”
I had one of those mind opening experiences last night I thought a lot today. . .
I realized that Ayrie didn’t leave me, I left him.  Over the first six weeks I promised to open my heart, mind and spirit to him and I did it with vigor.  I went to a spiritual church, had my tarot cards read, went to a workshop on healing, went to a psychic, tried to meditate, spoke to ayrie, listened to the universe…. but the last two weeks i worked.  and worked.  i sent emails and created documents.  i had conference calls and meetings.  i wrote papers.  and i absolutely forgot to keep  my mind, heart and spirit open to a power, energy and existence larger than me, larger than this existence.
so my depression taught me how unhappy I will be if I stray from my path. the path of light and joy and celebration. Â the path of exploring what is truly important in this world, in my life.
I have always loved to work. Â Over-identified with my work. Â Had a mind that couldn’t rest because of my work. Â It is going to be even harder than I anticipated to learn a new way.
I have so much more to write but a very tired child to get into bed. Â Remind me to tell you about tonight and the people who gathered in my back yard. Â It will warm your heart. Â Until then, I will leave you with these photos of lights that people lit in memory of Ayrie tonight. Â I hope the light finds Ayrie. Â I hope he can feel our love. Â (I think he can). Â But i also hope this light joins with and strengthens the larger body of light and goodness in this world.
xo  nora
Dear Nora–
We are looking at a bright and burning candle and thinking about Ayrie tonight. We send you our love.
So wish I could have been there tonight, but am in Chicago. Thinking of you all, all night long! xoxo A
Beautiful post, Nora. You were in my thoughts last night. Yes, our attention can get pulled in many directions, but we can always come back.
Nora, so glad you felt comforted by the gathering of friends and the lighting of candles across the cities and the country. The journey continues. Thanks for posting these wonderful pictures.
Thanks everyone one. Today was the most powerful and concrete experience I’ve had of my psyche and my community working together to make a genuine and immediate shift in the way I am, the way I feel, the way I vibrate (?)…. Thanks for being my teachers and for being on this journey with me.