She didn’t die!
Last night Shiya turned to me and said with pure delight, “Guess what mom! Sonjie didn’t die!”
“Sonjie from school?” I asked.
“Yes, she didn’t die!” he repeated excitedly.
“Oh sweetie, why did you think she died?”
“Well, she didn’t come to school for a long time so I thought she died but guess what? She just was on vacation!”
“Were you upset when you thought she had died?”
“No, but I’m really happy that she didn’t.”
And that’s the world that my sweet 4-year old lives in. In his mind, if someone disappears unexpectedly, then it must mean that they are dead. The interesting thing? The thing that makes me a little proud and a little curious? It’s pretty matter-of-fact for him.
Proud: We talk so much about how Ayrie is still with us…about how he’s waiting for us, guiding us and loving us “from the sky”…about how we’ll see him again when it’s our turn to die… that the concept of death is not upsetting to him.
Curious: How will this affect him as a person? He’ll grow up with such a different relationship to death than most of us. Nothing to do but wait, watch, and keep following his amazing cues.
You don’t know me, but I have known of you for years. I first met your mom about 10 years ago and she was thrilled to tell me of her beautiful daughter who shared my name. Your brother worked for my husband, Jeb, before he had the coffee shop and I am friends with dear Eliza. I accidentally stumbled upon this page from a link on facebook that caught my eye. Don’t really know how it happened-you know how that goes? But here I am, and the raw beauty of your posts have me weeping. This one really struck a cord with me.
Jeb and I had our fifth child die 10 days after her birth. She was born at home and died at home and her four siblings were present every step of the way. I, too, am proud of the way my children perceive her presence in our lives: their own personal guardian angel, making magic happen in their lives. Ava was born 7 years ago, so her lesson is starting to fade a bit for my older children. We still celebrate her birthday, however, and she will always be a part of who we are. She showed us the beauty in both life and death, the most spectacular, intense lesson we will ever receive.
I’m sharing this with you because I wanted you to know how much you touched me with your words today and that another Nora, thousand of miles away, is sending you some love and light. Just thought you should know… 🙂