She didn’t die!

Posted by in letters to the boys


Last night Shiya turned to me and said with pure delight, “Guess what mom! Sonjie didn’t die!”

“Sonjie from school?” I asked.

“Yes, she didn’t die!” he repeated excitedly.

“Oh sweetie, why did you think she died?”

“Well, she didn’t come to school for a long time so I thought she died but guess what? She just was on vacation!”

“Were you upset when you thought she had died?”

“No, but I’m really happy that she didn’t.”

And that’s the world that my sweet 4-year old lives in. In his mind, if someone disappears unexpectedly, then it must mean that they are dead. The interesting thing? The thing that makes me a little proud and a little curious? It’s pretty matter-of-fact for him.

Proud: We talk so much about how Ayrie is still with us…about how he’s waiting for us, guiding us and loving us “from the sky”…about how we’ll see him again when it’s our turn to die… that the concept of death is not upsetting to him.

Curious: How will this affect him as a person? He’ll grow up with such a different relationship to death than most of us. Nothing to do but wait, watch, and keep following his amazing cues.