We Survived Grandly….

Posted by in letters to the boys

This morning I went to ‘church’ at the Lake Harriet Spiritual Community to hear a woman speak about how to re-connect with our inner intuitive.  Lately I feel that it’s something I’m learning to be able to so… it takes hard work and I’m not even sure how I do it when I do, but I feel my self connecting to a part of me that feels new.  Feels right.

I have written previously (i think) about how I promised Ayrie when he passed that I would keep my heart and my mind open so that when he returned I would know he was here.  In the following weeks I came to realize that heart and mind were important, but that there was a third piece missing… the final piece of the trifecta … and I think now that the missing piece might be intuition.  I think intuition is the ‘eye’ I will use to understand my interconnectedness with all life and my feelings about religion/spirituality/spirit.

Last night I read the statement (below) by a mother who was assaulted with her two children by gunpoint while cross-country skiing by our local park.  I woke up in the middle of the night feeling that I needed to post her public statement about the incident.  It’s so powerful and so beautiful.  I need to do my piece to get this message out into the world.

xo  nora


*We Survived Grandly, We're Blessed with an Abundance of Support and Love*

First of all I want to tell you what a strange experience I have as I read
the postings on this forum and read the news reports of the incident that my
children and I experienced.  When we get talked about in the third person it
seems like they're talking about someone else and then I get scared for
those people they are talking about and then I realize they're talking about
me!  I never thought I'd ever have this experience and I sure would have
liked to have made the news for some other reason!

Second, I want to tell you that my children and I are doing quite well
considering that we had a gun held to our chests only three days ago.  On
Thanksgiving, the day after the incident, my children said two things to me
that give me hope for their healing and I would like to share what they said
with you.

I was trying to reassure the kids by telling them that they were safe since
the boys who did this were in jail. My son replied, "That's too bad. They
didn't know what they were doing. Now they don't get to have the life of fun
that I have." I'm pretty amazed at his compassion and understanding.

And my daughter said later in the day of her brother, "I was annoyed at him
because he was kicking the couch while we were sitting, but I didn't want to
say anything because I'm so happy to have him."

I have a lot to learn from my kids about staying in touch with what really
matters in life.  We sure got a profound lesson in having gratitude for just
being alive.  And don't worry, they have quickly fallen back to their habits
of bickering with each other, which I see as a sure sign they are moving on
and getting back to normalcy.

I have so much gratitude for the friends and neighbors who supported us with
such care and love after the incident.  Wow what a great neighborhood we
live in.  And I hold dear to my heart the police officers who answered our
call.  They showed me a dedication to serving the people of their precinct.
I'm amazed at the perseverance and care of the officer who followed the
boys' tracks in the snow and managed to be there when the two girls had
pushed off their attackers and run away.  The girls ran right into the two
officers who were tracking the sneaker prints.

I do want to correct one major inaccuracy in the news that I have read.
None of us were raped, to the best of my knowledge.  Yes, I was sexually
assaulted but the girls did manage to fight off the boys and escape before
anything happened.  I really have a huge repulsion at the labeling of us as
victims.  I see us as strong and capable of taking charge of our safety.

I find it ironic to have had this experience as I currently study
nonviolence, restorative justice and the healing of childhood trauma.  I got
to put my studies and my practice of mindfulness into play as the incident
unfolded.  The whole time I made a conscious choice to see the boys as human
beings, not to see them as evil or bad.  I focus my attention not on the
boys' actions but the pain behind their actions.  I see those boys as
hurting, scared children who didn't get the kind of nurture, love and care
that they needed.  I try to hold them now in compassion and hope that they
might get the support they need to reconnect to their essential goodness.
With the system of justice that we currently use, I'm hopeless that will

I want to say too that I do also hold a lot of fear in my body in response
to the trauma and I want to acknowledge that a lot of people now feel fear
as a result of what happened to us.  This event was huge and it will
continue to have a huge impact on all of us in this community.  I do hope
for myself though to take the awesome energy of my fear and channel it into
finding ways to support precious beings that come into this world to get all
the love, fun, and nurture that is their birthright.

I won't let my fear however keep me from enjoying our beautiful park and
neighborhood.  The park is a refuge for me from the hustle and bustle of the
city.  It connects me to nature and creativity.  Our family has enjoyed so
many riches here: pottery classes at the park, the May Day Parade, the art
festival, the art sled rally, the Animal Convergence, picnics, fishing off
the dock, the Empty Bowls fundraiser, skating on the lake, birdwatching,
foraging for mushrooms, the playgrounds, laying on the grass and looking at
the sky, the list goes on and on.  Thank you all for making this such a
great place to live.

I guess I might fall into despair, hopelessness and hatred sometime along my
healing journey, but I can honestly say I don't experience them right now.
My spiritual practices ground me in love and possibility.

I see that a vigil has been scheduled for Wednesday night.  Please take this
as an opportunity to celebrate our riches.  I would love it if people came
out to sing, dance, ski, sled, play Frisbee, etc.  Let's make it a
celebration of our community and our park!  At one point the boys asked for
our skis.  I wish they could have taken them and used them and experienced
the pure joy of gliding in the fresh snow, getting winded from exertion and
breathing in cool, fresh air.  Please send them all the love you can
muster.  I think they really need it.

I just heard this Cat Stevens song <http://youtu.be/hqfqXwk87yQ> for the
first time.  You might indulge me by listening to it.  The third stanza from
the end really spoke to me today.  It says, "I'm glad I'm alive, am I; I'm
glad I'm alive, am I; I'm glad I'm alive, I'm glad I'm alive; I'm glad I'm
alive, am I."  That really says it all for me.

As I read back what I've written I'm a bit embarrassed, because find it a
bit long-winded and preachy but it's the best I can come up with at this

In gratitude and amazement,
the "mother" in the news