Search for an Urn

Posted by in letters to the boys

I didn’t think that I would want and Urn.  I wondered what in the world could be comforting about having someone’s ashes… by having a substance that used to be their living body.  But I have to admit, when the ashes came last Friday I took the cardboard box to bed and curled up with it, stroking the rough exterior like I was brushing back Ayrie’s curls from his forehead.

All of the sudden it was obvious that  I wanted to keep the ashes.  It suddenly wasn’t a question.  So I looked online at urn stores, funeral homes and the like, only to be dismayed by what I saw… nothing reminded me of Ayrie in the least.  And then I remembered a friend telling me that an interesting urn could be made out of glass and I started to think more creatively…  I sat with my thoughts and realized that I wanted something with warmth, vibrancy and rounded edges.

Last night I found this piece on etsy and loved the deep yellow and I was immediately drawn to it.  It feels like Ayrie…I have synesthesia and partly chose Ayrie’s name for it’s bold yellow color.  I also partially chose his name because it means ‘eagle’s nest on a mountain top’.  When Shiya saw the image on my monitor he yelled, unprompted, “I love that!”.  So I ordered it and we’ll give it a try.  This beautiful container may be the resting place for Ayrie’s ashes for as long as it feels right.