not his time

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10.9.10

Perhaps it was time for ayrie to go

Perhaps he only had a limited time on earth, had a job to do, had something to teach me or to teach other

Certainly this seems to be what the vast majority of people say to me

And sometimes I believe it

But right now I am mad

And I am so sad that I can’t see and I can barely breathe

My body heaves with tears as I write this

Rage

It wasn’t his time!

How did this happen?  How did my baby die in a room full of medical professionals??!!!!  People ask me this all the time and all I can do is look at them with an ache in my heart.  I have no idea.  It doesn’t seem right.