When I was in those moments between awake and asleep last night I felt very peaceful, grateful and even a bit optimistic about the future. Â A curious feeling after so much grief. Â I felt like Ayrie was in meâ€¦ as though my soul had moved over to make space for a part of his soulâ€¦ as though I was experiencing him more completely than I ever did while he was with usâ€¦as though a seed was planted.Â It was beautiful, intense and in the moment it felt just right.Â Right now I donâ€™t know what the seed will become but it has amazing potential energy.Â As the plant grows, the roots deepen and the leaves unfurl I will start to understand….
…As someone who has not profoundly spiritual orÂ religious in the past, this experience was a surprise to me. Â It was a feeling and a moment that I didn’t think I was capable of having without belief system to tell me that I would have this feeling. Â My eyes and my heart are open in a way they never were before. Â I have to make sure that give enough time to seeing and listening.