“But Shiya’s still here!”

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“We see Ayrie soon?”, Shiya asked tonight.

“No,” I told Shiya.  Ayrie’s not coming back.

“Maybe tomorrow?  After we sleep?”

“No,” I said again.

“Maybe just for a little bit?”

“No,” I told Shiya.  “And it makes me feel very sad.  It makes my heart hurt.”

“But Shiya’s still here!”, Shiya exclaimed.

“You are, and that makes me so happy,” I said and gave him a tight hug.

Next Shiya and I sat in the hallway outside Shiya & Ayrie’s bedroom and talked to Ayrie.  Shiya told me that Ayrie was up in the sky so we looked up towards the sky while we talked to Ayrie.  We told him how we missed him and love him.  Shiya told me that Ayrie is okay and he reached up into the air with his right hand and closed it around some air.  He told me that he was holding a baby Ayrie and put his hand to my mouth so I could kiss Ayrie.  And then he put Ayrie on my chest, over my heart, and kept pointing to me heart and telling me that Ayrie was “right there”.

We got into bed soon after and shiya climbed into bed with a tiny neopsporin spray bottle and he was pretending to spray my heart to make it “feel all better”.  And then he played doctor with his two giraffes and the giraffe named Taye (Shiya’s middle name) was sad because he missed his brother.  So Shiya put neosporin on his heart too.  And then he did a lot of other things to the giraffe to make him feel better while periodically taking a break to put more neosporin on our hearts.
I have a cold so I started coughing once we layed down.  Shiya was really worried because I was sick and he said, “Mommy sick but she not die, right?”  And I assured him that I wasn’t going to die.  That I had a cold and it was a different kind of sick than Ayrie had.  He made me promise that I wouldn’t go to the doctor’s.