on my heart
Posted by Nora in Uncategorized
Shiya keeps reaching up into the air and grabbing ‘baby ayrie’ out of the air and happily handing ayrie to me to kiss. Â I then place ‘baby ayrie’ on my heart and tell shiya how happy I am that he was able to find ayrie and share him with me and I tell Ayrie how much i love him. Â We do it every night before bed and a couple of times during each day. Â It really do feel that ayrie is with us in those moments. Â So tonight when I was tearing up and told Shiya that I missed Ayrie he said “Mom, Don’t worry. Â He’s on your heart!”
Nora, I firmly believe that each time Shiya does this, Ayrie is there. I believe that kids feel the energy and presence of loved ones who are not in our physical world anymore and Shiya is so intuitive and so connected with his brother, I’ve no doubt that the connection is very real.
So much of what you’re sharing about Shiya’s reactions to Ayrie’s death is amazing insight into the spiritual world of children–which somehow seems more authentic than what we adults wrestle with, with all of our baggage. For Shiya to have such a profound spiritual experience at such a young age will probably shape him enormously.
After Emily, Ian, and Shiya left our house after dinner the other night, Si wanted to leave the candle lit on our table for a long time. He said, “It’s giving us love. It knows we’re sad that Ayrie died, and it’s sad too, and it’s giving us love.”
I agree with Lex, he is absolutley with you. When my stepfather, John, took his last breaths, my son Mikey and I were present. Mikey was 8 months old. I was holding him by John’s side. Mikey watched his Grampy’s life end and arched his back and looked up at the ceiling as though watching the spirit leave his body and enter the next world. John also visited us in a number of ways after his death here. Laurel, you also said some beautiful and true things. I am learning so much from all I read here and from all the community you have supporting you Nora, you and Shiya. Thank you for being so open and sharing so much. Everyone who supports you and hurts and cries with you is also growing and learning and it feels like we are becoming more advanced humans in our understanding and compassion.
He absolutely IS on your heart- and on the hearts of many people throughout this world. He was SO on my mind as I spent Tuesday night at MEEI… I tossed and turned thinking of the night you had spent two weeks before, saying that impossible “good bye”. I didn’t get a chance to write yesterday and tell you how connected I feel to you and your family and how I felt while I was there- marking his 2 week “Angelversary”, a non-celebratory event. I look forward to marking Saturday with lit candles to celebrate his short yet powerful life that has affected so many and brought me closer to a friend I may never have known. We love you and think of you a lot- my kids talk about Ayrie being another of their “angel friends” and their smiley fb friend Shiya. HUG HUG HUG to you today and each day and moment you need it.